Category Archives: Relationships

How Black Lives Matter is affecting the relationship between black men and black women

By Kimberly McGowan

For centuries, black men and women in America have had to endure a somewhat touchy relationship. This imbalance can be traced to the era of slavery when black relationships were systematically torn apart. However, with the recent events surrounding the Black Lives Matter movement, discussions about the relationship between black men and black women are now on the table.

Of both genders in the black race, black women have been the bigger victims regarding the failure to find love. The struggle and injustice against black men have been an open secret, but black women battle unknown and unrecognized demons. Demons few knew about, and even fewer could do anything to help. 

Why are black women less likely to find love?

Here are a few reasons why black women have had to endure a strenuous search for a life partner

The Foundation

From a young age, we teach the black princess to look for a good black man to marry. Therefore, for most black girls, the ideal husband is a black man. This means that even before she could wear leather boots, her options are limited. Here are some other reasons why this ideology isn’t paying off

  • The black male child has the highest mortality rate of all the races in America. 
  • As of 2014, incarcerated black men outnumbered incarcerated black women by almost 490,000, according to The Washington Post

Therefore, from the age of sixteen, there are significantly more black women than men. This makes it statistically likely for many black women to end up single.


According to an NPR article, black women have a series of stereotypes they have to contend with. They are often portrayed as angry, overbearing, aggressive, lazy, hypersexual, and generally emasculating. These stereotypes not only limit their desirability to many men, but it also forces them to be pretentious and overcompensate, so they don’t come across as stereotypical. 


The standard for feminine beauty in America is the white girl. You have to have flowing white woman hair, be skinny and have blue eyes. Hence, black women live in a world where it seems their unique beauty goes unnoticed. Moreover, black women don’t think men from other ethnicities would be attracted to them. At this point, I’m tempted to scream why not! But never mind, sigh. 

The impact of BLM on black-on-black relationships?

In the wake of the Black Lives Matter movement and the apparent racial disparity in the US, black people have become more aware of how they need to be there for each other and stick together more. The unique struggles of the black queen have finally come to light. 

Unsurprisingly, it seems most black men were simply unaware of the pressures their women faced. Well, maybe they were too busy trying to avoid being shot by the cops. Nonetheless, the rude awakening is finally here. More black men are now learning to love and treat their women with more compassion. Bearing in mind that they too have rough seas to navigate. 

Though it’s still quite premature, we hope that this newfound realization and drive will have a long-term effect on black-on-black relationships. We hope that the Black Lives Matter movement’s positive impact will be the beginning of a new black male & black female relationship dynamic. If this is true, then we welcome this new era with open arms. 

The Physical Effects of Anxiety

By Kimberly McGowan

The State of American in 2020 has us all, as a people in a state of emergency from Covid 19 to Fighting for Equality and Against Injustice.  Can you tell if you have developed anxiety?  Anxiety affects your body as well as your mind. In addition to worrying and feeling nervous, you may experience changes in your immune function, circulatory system, and other areas. Anxiety may also be caused by physical conditions and may increase your risk for certain disorders.

It is an important issue, because anxiety is the most common mental illness in the United States, affecting an estimated 40 million adults each year. It can take many different forms, including generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, or phobias.

Whatever the cause, anxiety usually responds well to medical treatment and lifestyle
modifications. If you or someone you know is being treated for anxiety, consider these physical changes that you may want to address.

Managing the Physical Symptoms of Anxiety

When you are stressed, your body releases hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol, that prepare you for fight or flight. Since such physical responses are rarely required in modern life, those chemicals now wind up interfering with natural body functions.

While you can’t eliminate stress, you can use strategies for dealing with it more constructively.

Try these ideas to relieve anxiety:

  1. Breathe deeply. When you are tense, your breathing tends to become rapid and shallow. Remind yourself to slow down and breathe from your abdomen instead of your chest. You will feel calmer and increase the supply of oxygen and nutrients to your brain and other organs.
  2. Avoid infections. Anxiety may hamper your immune system. Take extra
    precautions against catching colds and other bugs. Wash your hands and keep
    them away from your face.
  3. Dress in layers. Blood vessels sometimes constrict as the result of chronic
    stress, making it more difficult to regulate your body temperature. Keep a
    sweater or wrap handy if you’re prone to sweats and chills.
  4. Eat well. Anxiety has a major impact on your digestion. You may overeat or lose your appetite. You may experience irritable bowel syndrome or stomach churning. Plan out your meals and snacks to give your body the nutrients and calories it needs.
  5. Limit caffeine. Does coffee give you the jitters? Try cutting back on caffeine
    to see if you feel more at ease. You may want to avoid coffee completely or
    limit yourself to one cup a day.
  6. Exercise regularly. Physical activity is one of the most effective and
    constructive methods for dealing with stress.
    Find a variety of activities that
    you enjoy. Invite a friend or family member to work out with you so you’ll have more fun and increase your chances of being consistent.
  7. Rest and relax. Anxiety often interferes with sleep, so remove any obstacle you
    can. Go to bed at the same time each night and keep your bedroom dark and quiet. Relax during the day with meditation, instrumental music, or a warm bath.

Identifying the Physical Causes of Anxiety

Anxiety disorders usually develop in childhood or early adulthood. You may want to see your doctor if you begin to have excessive anxiety later in life, so you can rule out physical causes.

These are some of the issues to look for:

  1. Overactive or underactive thyroid. Overactive and underactive thyroids are among the most common physical causes of anxiety. Your doctor can perform simple tests to help you receive appropriate treatment.
  2. Issues in the brain. Brain tumors are rare, but they can cause psychological changes. An early diagnosis increases your chances of recovery.
  3. Chronic conditions. Struggling with a chronic condition can make you more vulnerable to anxiety. Let your physician and loved ones know if you need extra help.

Understanding the physical effects of anxiety can help you heal your mind and body. Talk with your doctor about your individual concerns and learn to manage stress so you can enjoy greater physical comfort and peace of mind.

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