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K.I.S.H. Magazine Exclusive Interview with Ed & Sharita Gray!

KISH: Tell us about you..

We are Ed & Sharita Gray. We literally wrote the book on marriage…as crazy as that may seem! Lol. We just decided to name it “I Do! But How Do I?”. Our story begins way back in yonder year during a time period when something called MySpace was super popular! Sharita was new to MySpace and her sister was showing her the ins and outs of it and they took a break and when she came back, somehow my face was on her computer. She thought I was attractive so she sent me a message and the message said, “It must be against the law for you to be that fine!” True story. I thought she was a hacker or spam so I almost deleted the message, but I was intrigued that a hacker/spammer could be so clever with words and I thought she was attractive as well. So, I sent a dry message back just to test if it would send back a bunch of gibberish or really be a person. Thank God it was a real message. We lived 3000 miles away from one another so we never got the opportunity to physically meet. However, we were able to become the best of friends and we would speak on the phone all the time and mail photos. Can you believe that? Long story short, I had a child and got married so I ended our friendship. Unfortunately, the marriage didn’t work out. Now, fast forward to the time of Facebook entering its prime and one day while scrolling I saw a picture of Sharita. I spoke. We chatted. She came to visit me in person so we could finally actually physically meet. I asked her to be my girlfriend. Then I asked her to marry me in less than a year because there was certainly something special about her. We have been up and we have been down, but wherever we have been…. we have been there TOGETHER!

KISH: What is your dream and how will accomplishing your dream benefit you and others?

Ed & Sharita: It’s safe to say that our dream is to be a part of the solution to the problem with marriage. If you haven’t seen the video on our YouTube channel titled “The Problem With MARRIAGE” you should definitely check it out. Just type in TheHowToIDo with Ed & Sharita. That video really sums up what we believe to be largely the “actual” problems facing many marriages in today’s society. That video also provides some very plausible solutions to potentially remedy those problems. It’s not your typical kiss and make up strategies either. You’ve got to put in the work if you truly intend to receive the results of a great marriage. Our dream though is to be a part of the solution to the problem with marriage by 1) Being an example to others by showing them via our own marriage that a great marriage is a lifestyle 2) Providing principled material that people can actually put into practice into their own marriages 3) Providing a community by which other married couples and/or those that are on the path to marriage can come and actually learn from others and gain insight on how to achieve the greatness in marriage that they hope to achieve. These three areas will benefit others by providing them with the tools to not only set #Marriage Goals, but to actually achieve them and be fulfilled within their own marriages.

KISH: Who or what inspired you to pursue this dream?

Ed & Sharita: The people suffering in half-baked marriages…..many of whom are/were friends, relatives, and associates of ours are the WHO that inspired us to pursue this dream. And the divorce rate of essentially 50% of all marriages is the WHAT that inspired us to pursue this dream. It’s pretty insane to rationalize that it doesn’t matter what/whom you believe in, or whom you decide to marry….you only have approximately a 50/50 chance at success in marriage. Why even bother getting married if those are the odds? Just save all the money that you could potentially lose for the wedding and the divorce! Lol. If marriage is supposed to be so great, why are so many people failing at it? We wanted to improve those odds of success. Thankfully, we have helped quite a few people in their pursuit to increase the odds of success in marriage. We accomplished this by providing them with certain principles and concepts that we actually utilize in our own marriage. Many of those principles have actually been chronicled in our book on marriage titled “I DO! BUT HOW DO I?”.

KISH: What challenges have you encountered while pursuing your dream?

Ed & Sharita: The biggest challenges that we have encountered while pursuing this dream is attempting to get people out of their own way. Many of the challenges in most marriages are not the lying, cheating, financial problems, etc. It’s usually that one or both spouses is in some way self-centered or self-serving. Or you have the other opposite extreme where one or both of the spouses has such low self-esteem or self-confidence in themselves or in the marriage to believe that success is even a possibility for their marriage.

KISH: Who or what inspired you to keep pushing regardless of the challenges you’ve encountered?

Ed & Sharita: We are both very spiritual people. We believe strongly that our connection to God and our faith and belief in Jesus Christ has been the most beneficial factor that has afforded us the wherewithal to keep pushing regardless of the challenges that we’ve encountered. Helping marriages is our purpose in life. This is not a fad or some experiment. God called us (Ed & Sharita) to be the example even when we mess up! Many people think that mistakes are bad, but mistakes are just that mis-takes. You missed the mark, so learn from it and try it again with your new found wisdom; don’t throw the whole marriage away over a mis-take. It has been clear in our marriage that as long as we stay married to God, He will ensure that we stay married to each other. That simply means that whatever we face whether good or bad, we both are intentional that God is included in how we approach those situations. We don’t always get it right, but that’s why He provides grace. We want other married couples and others seeking to be married to know that “it’s okay!” Just keep going and keep moving forward.

KISH: Please provide final thoughts/advice for others by finishing this sentence… dream.

Ed & Sharita: Dream. A dream is a set of images or thoughts that parade through your mind generally when we are asleep. A vision is very similar in that there is a set of images or thoughts that parade through your mind as well and there is the added bonus of divine influence and you are usually awake. At some point and time, you slept and dreamt and had thoughts and images of your marriage excelling and succeeding and how wonderful it would be to marry and be married to your spouse. Somewhere along the way your dream likely turned into a nightmare or disturbance and caused you to want to wake up and get out by any means necessary because this is not what you initially saw in your dream. The nightmare makes you feel helpless and may even cause anxiety. However, if you can simply WAKE UP and see the thoughts and images of your marriage excelling and succeeding and how wonderful it would be to marry and be married to your spouse with the added bonus of divine influence, then you will have the right components to begin the journey to success that you once could only dream about but now have the vision to actually achieve. Remember that you don’t have to do this marriage thing alone. You can begin your journey by picking up our book “I DO! BUT HOW DO I?” which you can purchase on our website or anywhere books are sold. And you can join our Journey Through ‘I Do’ Marriage Membership Club. This is simply a community of other married couples seeking to have greater success in marriage. We invite experts and guests and provide the platform for married people to come have married conversations. You can join by going right to our website at www.HowToIDo.org and clicking on the Membership tabs. Also, be sure to follow us on your favorite social media channels at: @TheHowToIDo w/ Ed & Sharita. For bookings please email: TheHowToIDo@gmail.com. Keep Dreaming!

Last modified: March 17, 2021