Making decisions based out of our emotions is crippling and most of us as people make decisions based upon our feelings (Our emotions) rather than using wisdom and knowledge. Every time I use wisdom or knowledge things work out much better of course from the resources I learned to guide myself taking control of my life.
To take control what does control mean? According to the Webster dictionary, control is a transitive verb that places you in position of restraining, manage, conduct, authority, command, dominion, directing, to have power over, to reduce the incidence or severity especially to innocuous (harmless) levels. When control changes into an intransitive verb the meaning shifts to controllability, controllable and ontrolment. All of these annotations are what helps with setting your mindset to determination. To be determined your mind must be in alignment with how you perceive your outcome.
When I was living in domestic violence, I was doing self-afflictions on myself. I made wine my best friend to help me not to feel how I felt disrespected, and humiliated that I allowed someone else to control me every day. There were times I physically abused myself by punching my own thighs and squeezing my forearm filled with anger after a physical or verbal altercation with my ex-husband. I mean who does that to themselves. My mindset was not in the right alignment at that time. I was hurting inside and outside.
Other self-afflictions that I’m aware of that are common that we do as people are drug addictions, alcoholism, abandonment of self-care, eating disorders, sexual abuse, negative criticism, and chemical imbalances in the functioning’s of our brains. Most of us ignore the paradigm of our overall belief system. In my science class in high school, I remember my t acher talking about what a paradse is. The dominate paraphrasing meaning of a paradigm scientifically is our thought patterns which comes from our subconscious minds of what we really believe of our overall belief system.
I will prove it to you; Some of us may think if we spoil ourselves, do the best for ourselves and not do certain bad things to ourselves means we love ourselves, but is it? I used to believe strongly that if I pampered myself and do good things for myself, I believed I loved myself enough. However, I discovered while living in domestic violence my ex-husband did not love himself or enough. If you abuse other people you say you love, and continue to do it, I believe you do not love yourself enough and the way you deserve. I discovered with many people who commit suicide they can have almost everything, be of influence, have great jobs, and well loved, but their belief system about themselves has no determination mindset to love themselves enough to control their emotions and behaviors.
Your belief system is the most critical system about your determinations. I’m no pastor but Making decisions based out of our emotions is crippling and most of us as people make decisions based upon our feelings (Our emotions) rather than using wisdom and knowledge. Every time I use wisdom or knowledge things work out much better of course from the resources I learned to guide myself taking control of my life.
To take control what does control mean? According to the Webster dictionary, control is a transitive verb that places you in position of restraining, manage, conduct, authority, command, dominion, directing, to have power over, to reduce the incidence or severity especially to innocuous (harmless) levels. When control changes into an intransitive verb the meaning shifts to controllability, controllable and controlment. All of these annotations are what helps with setting your mindset to determination. To be determined your mind must be in
alignment with how you perceive your outcome.
When I was living in domestic violence, I was doing self-afflictions on myself. I made wine my best friend to help me not to feel how I felt disrespected, and humiliated that I allowed someone else to control me every day. There were times I physically abused myself by punching my own thighs and squeezing my forearm filled with anger after a physical or verbal altercation with my ex-husband. I mean who does that to themselves. My mindset was not in the right alignment at that time. I was hurting inside and outside. Other self-afflictions that I’m aware of that are common that we do as people are drug addictions, alcoholism, abandonment of self-care, eating disorders, sexual abuse, negative criticism, and chemical imbalances in the functioning’s of our brains. Most of us ignore the paradigm of our overall belief system. In my science class in high school, I remember my teacher talking about what a paradigm is.
The dominate paraphrasing meaning of a paradig scientifically is our thought patterns which comes from our subconscious minds of what we really believe of our overall belief system. I will prove it to you; Some of us may think i we spoil ourselves, do the best for ourselves and not do certain bad things to ourselves means we love ourselves, but is it? I used to believe strongly that if I pampered myself and do good things for myself, I believed I loved myself enough. However, I discovered while living in domestic violence my ex-husband did not love himself or enough. If you abuse other people you say you love, and continue to do it, I believe you do not love yourself enough and the way you deserve. I discovered with many people who commit suicide they can have almost everything, be of influence, have great jobs, and well loved, but their belief system about themselves has no determination mindset to love
themselves enough to control their emotions and behaviors. Your belief system is the most critical system about your determinations. I’m no pastor but clearly in the bible it backs this theory up so clear that it states in Proverbs 23:7, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he” KJ Bible. I’m not here to preach but I’m pointing out its all about how we think and believe. What do you think about yourself? And what do you believe about
yourself?
In my upcoming book of how I survived domestic violence from being a victim to a victor I explain how I was lying in my bed while living in domestic violence thinking about how I allowed myself to live with being abused. I then began thinking I deserve better than to keep allowing this madness to happen to me, and my little boy. I also thought, hell no will I continue to allow this madness to keep happening. As I continued lying in my bed, the longer I kept thinking I must shift my paradigm belief in where I’m at in the moment for it to change for me to live better.
Suddenly, my mindset shifted with determination after lying in my bed for several hours thinking that I was going to live and not die behind bitterness, unforgiveness, and abuse. The control was all up to me. After all, I am the only one who is responsible for controlling my life! It was no longer about how I got in that position; The questions are, “how did I allow myself to lose control and allow someone else to take over to control me”? “What steps will I take to be free”? I’m talking real talk here. I also realize there are people who struggle with managing their emotions, and behaviors due to having a brain chemical imbalance or being in denial. My suggestion if you don’t mind me to say, if you feel you need help seek professional help as soon as possible wanting out of your turmoil. A chemical imbalance and being in denial can hurt a life more to the point where an individual can become destructive to society, themselves, and
others.
Having boundaries is what I needed to help myself with controlling my emotions and behaviors wanting to be successful in being free from abuse. I learned when to say “enough”, then I recognized how I needed to set boundaries and believed I deserved better. I choose to not accept something or someone that’s not benefiting my life. The best news is I took back my control after I made up my mind to be free from abuse. We can all choose to take back the control if we really become determined. I changed my circumstances with using my belief system of controlling my mindset. When I made up my mind to be free from abuse, I chose to love myself enough with understanding the love I deserve. I reprogramed my belief system to give back to myself better love and receive pure love from others who would love me for me. I ask you my friend to take control of yourself by reprogramming your paradigm in what you truly believe you deserve and that’s loving yourself more, believe better for yourself, and taking one day at a time.
