I remember my teen years like they were yesterday. A young woman on the rise so full of hope and ambition. The world was my muse and anything I set my mind to do, I was ready to master it. I was ready to take the world by storm! But, like so many other young girls and young women, I was a know it all who knew nothing at all. I had no plans. No strategies. No form of execution. I was just gonna do. And, that mentality caused me to make some less than favorable decisions in life. Just a heads up. This article isn’t one of those “feel good” messages. It’s a real conversation about accountability, awareness, and decision-making. That’s right ladies! We’re gonna take a look at ourselves, not to look down on ourselves, but to hold ourselves accountable to us and one another. Let’s get to it…
We’ve all been guilty of somethings that we aren’t proud of, right? The key to getting past those things is first accepting your part in it and owning what you did. Does that mean think less of yourself? Absolutely not. It means being accountable for your actions and taking responsibility for your involvement. Sometimes, when we are involved in situations, we aren’t aware of who may be watching us. And, the roles that we play in any given circumstance can either be a stepping stone to encourage someone or a hindering block causing someone else who may not be as strong as we are to stumble. We’ve got to keep that in mind. After all, we are epistles read by men daily (II Cor. 3:2). Who knows? Some of us may be the only form of Jesus that many will ever see…Let’s be accountable ladies.
Next, let’s be aware. Today’s society is full of so much stigma and false expectations. People expect more of you than they do of themselves. Today’s pop media culture is largely based on sex appeal and it utilizes social media to spread it’s message abroad. I know you’re probably looking at that last statement and saying, “Where is she going with this?” There’s a valid point to be made here. Follow me. Scripture tells us not to be conformed to the ways of this world (Romans 12:2). Seasoned saints would say: Be in this world, but not of it. But, alot of teenage girls and young women fall prey to the sexual appeal of modern society’s culture. And, it has a lot to do with peer pressure, ie wanting to be accepted. And, most times, they go through with these acts because they never thought they would’ve gotten caught. And, it’s not that they were not aware of what they were doing. It’s because they weren’t fully aware of what all possible outcomes would be. Social media has taken exposure to a completely different level. Just because you think you were in the confines of a “confidential location” doesn’t mean that those secret things will not be revealed. How many of us would’ve gone through some of our hidden, most embarrassing and humiliating moments if we were aware of the full results? There’s no way any person in their right mind would proceed with some of the things we’ve seen lately in media if they knew the negative result that would follow. Make sure you’re aware of all possible outcomes to ANY situation before proceeding. Or better yet, like the seasoned saints use to say: “When in doubt, throw it out.” Just don’t do it. That could very well be the Holy Spirit alerting you of the danger that lies ahead. Be aware my sisters.
One more thing I want to mention. Decisions. Decisions. Decisions. One of the realest things we’ll ever have to do in life is to make decisions. Believe it or not, decisions basically guide our life. We have to make decisions daily and every decision we make sets us up for the next set of events in our life, good or bad. So, we must be wise with our decisions; because truth be told, they effect everything concerning us. Let’s discuss a topic that most teenage girls and young women have an issue verbalizing: sex before marriage. We know that we aren’t supposed to engage in premarital sex (I Cor. 6:18), however, that hasn’t prohibited anyone from participating in the act of fornicating. And, when participation is discovered by others, we often revert to labeling the act as an accident or a mistake. But, it’s neither. It was a choice. It was a decision that we chose to make. And, when you finally get past that bad decision and trying to progress forward in your life, there’s always the possibility of the bad decision finding it’s way from your past to your present. And, when it resurfaces, you’re not even certain of what your response should be. My young sisters, I know we haven’t always done things right or “by the book”, but we’ve got to do better and make better decisions. Premarital sex is a huge decision, one that shouldn’t be made, according to scripture (I Cor. 7:1-40). Sexual intimacy is reserved for marriage (Heb. 13:4) for many reasons. One of the reasons is because it creates soul ties between you and that person. And, God never intended us to be bonded to more than one person. We see this in the garden with Adam and Eve. If God meant for Adam to have multiple women, He would’ve given Adam multiple women. But, He didn’t. He only gave him one. Although there were many things in scripture that He allowed, that doesn’t mean it was His will. He gave a perfect display for His will in the very beginning: one man and one woman. How do the young folks say it? PERIODT! Lol… When you give away your virtue prior to marriage and that person decides not to make you his wife, you’ve created a bond between you and that young man. And, unless that soul tie is broken, it will follow you all the days of your life and into every other relationship you commit to. Just imagine. You gave away your virtue prior to marriage. Then, your big day comes and you marry a man who isn’t the one you created that soul tie with. You never broke that soul tie. Life goes on. Marriage is great. You even have kids. Everything is wonderful. Then, one day, you get a message or receive a phone call about the one you gave your virtue to. And, the unimaginable has happened. He died. All of a sudden, you’re flooded with a mix of emotions. And, it’s because you still had a connection to that person. And, your husband and children are the ones left to deal with the baggage of emotion you carry from a bond you didn’t break that was formed from a decision that you made before you even knew who they were. Whew!!! Decisions. Decisions. Decisions.
Ladies, we gotta get ourselves together!!! The older women and women with experience in these areas gotta start having these conversations with our younger sisters (Titus 2:3-5). Let’s hold ourselves and one another accountable. Let’s make sure we are aware of all possibilities of any end result of our decisions. Our decisions we make today can have a great impact on us in the future. Let’s be better, do better, and create a better tomorrow for ourselves and for those who may be watching us. After all, we are our sister’s keeper!