Mathew 19:5-6
And said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain, shall be one flesh. Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
When I think about my marriage and how far God has brought us all I can say is nobody but God. My husband and I both came in this marriage needing healing and great breakthrough in our lives. I remember being so angry in our early years of marriage. We would argue and fight all the time. I didn’t think our marriage would survive this storm. It was one of the greatest adversities of my life. Although I was a young adult and married at the age of 18 I was stuck in a time capsule called the little me. The little girl inside that wasn’t healed yet I was married and trying to function as a adult. The wounds hindered me from growing and being the wife God was calling me to. It didn’t help that everything I did seemed to be magnified and the excuse was that I was open with my issues and problems. I remember being told that if I do a,b,c then my marriage would be this and that. Each time I would strive to do those things only to end up disappointed and broken even more. Even sometimes after being prayed for I would feel so broken and down like God am I that bad of a wife or person. I tried so hard to please those around me but I ended up still broken and in desperate need of God to truly move in my life. I was trying to break free from the wounded little girl inside me but felt entrapped everywhere I turned. It wasn’t until God sent a mentor that would truly pour into my life and see the greatness God had placed on the inside of me. She never saw my wounds she saw my destiny and moved in such a manner to push me there. That was a breath of fresh air and I truly thank God for that. As I went through my process of healing it wasn’t when I got prayer and people called out my issues. It wasn’t when they prayed and said I was the problem in my marriage that I was hindering my husbands ministry. It didn’t come from snotting, crying and spitting up at the altar. My breakthrough came when I truly begin to yield to the word of God and allow it to take root in my heart and life. God truly begin to deal with the covered up hidden me and brought me to a place of moving in the uncovered revealed me. The word of God cut to the core of my being, but it also quickened what was dead inside and made it live and living. God quickened his love in me, he quickened my purpose and calling he quickened the joy in me. It was then that I begin to grow tremendously as a woman of God. I didn’t see my husband as I once did and my love for him truly begin to grow. You see while I was the focus of my marriage my husband lacked what he needed to do as a man and provider for our family. The basic fundamentals of marriage he didn’t know how to do, neither did he have anyone to tell him those things. It was more than just preaching and praying. While I was going through my process I was also taking care of our three children while my husband spent hours and hours away from home playing basketball or being on the video games and computer. I remember the times I would mention things about him doing that and folk would say I was jealous of my husbands ministry. It was never that because I knew what the truth was behind close doors and all that I endured. My husband was also stuck in a time capsule called the little you. The little boy in him that needed to be delivered. You see although I was misunderstood a lot and put under a magnifying glass when it came to him. I was the voice God was using to steer my husband right. I never told him things that would keep killing his ministry or walk with God. If he preached and I knew it was an emotional move I would be honest in love and I would push him to do better. When God would show me things I would open up and pray and when lead by God speak to my husband. I tried to never give my opinion because its void of the word of God. It was so much going on that people was blind to in our home because everything was centered around me. When I tell you God moved on our marriage in such a mighty way I know it was nobody but God. I have learned so much about marriage over the past 18 years its amazing. I just thank God. My husband grew and got his breakthrough as well. God had to completely move us from people and things that hindered our marriage. We both yielded to God and what he wanted to do in us. You know marriage is a powerful force to be reckoned with. When two lives collide together and become one is an amazing thing. It takes work, sacrifice, patience, endurance, made up mind, faith, tenacity, and most of all God being the center of it. I have learned that arguing over petty matters is not worth it. I’ve taking on this motto that if it’s not going to matter in 5 years don’t spend 5 minutes being mad or angry about it. Life is short and unforeseen circumstances can happen in life so enjoy marriage, enjoy your spouse take care of what God has given to you. Keep family and friends out of your marriage. My husband and I learned this the hard way and it almost cost us a divorce. We would make up but family never forget and they hold it over you and it cause friction and problems even more. I know for me when I truly begin to let go and grow God had to deal with the resentment in my heart from things that was said to me over the years of our marriage. It helped me to know what not to do whenever we counsel people. I leave my opinions out of it and I speak only what the Lord would lead me to say, its fruitful that way. I have also learned to never take sides and be in a place of prayer, because you may think your helping someone’s marriage and its literally killing it. My passion runs deep for marriage and ministry. I thank God that he built his wisdom and integrity in me. My husband and I just celebrated 18 years of Marriage March 30th. It’s a powerful thing for me because I married him at the age of 18. 18 years later I can say I would marry him all over again. People made bets that our marriage wouldn’t last a year but my God 18 years later and we are growing stronger than ever. I encourage marriages all across the globe to hang in there and let God be the head of your marriage. Don’t let small matters destroy or hinder what God has ordained. Fight for what God has given you, cherish it and uphold it. Push one another, cover one another and pray with and for each other. I also found that creating an atmosphere of love and peace matters so much. Speak life no matter what to each other build one another up and serve one another in love. Marriage is ministry and its honorable before the Lord. Don’t be a preacher but your home is chaotic let your home exemplify Christ. Take care of home first its God family then church in that order. Anything outside of that your out of line and order. Make sure you take time for family and spend time with your children. Ministry starts at home first. Make sure you have date nights take time to still date one another. Wives make sure you keep yourself up in all my 18 years of marriage I keep myself up for my husband. Husbands make sure you dwell with your wife according to knowledge, know the women you married it makes a huge difference in marriage. In closing learn to serve one another in love and don’t give placed to the enemy. Marriage can be blissful, it takes work on your part and a whole lot of dying to your flesh. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in this world. Love and cherish what God has given you.
In his Royal Service
Ronisha Williams
Last modified: August 20, 2020
